Clincal Detatchment
by OnlyTheInevitable
Summary: Mulder starts to get anxious after being slipped a little blue pill and it's up to Dr. Scully to help him figure it out and deal with the side effects. MSR.
1. Clinical Detatchment

**Author's Note: After having this idea for 5000 years, I finally finished it! Huge thanks to my beta admiralty for all her support. The last half will be posted in the next few days!**

To say this case had been stressful would be a colossal understatement. They'd been clashing with the police department since they got here; they were flagrantly sexist and rude to Scully and they thought Mulder was insane and, in their words, 'a pussy' for listening to her. To top it all off, after a week of intensive searching, the case ended with the police burning down the barn that the 'creature' they'd been looking for had been lurking in resulting in a pile of ashes and some unidentifiable bones, much to Mulder's irritation.

She couldn't even take joy in the fact that the case was over. After the barn burning, they had to go to the police station to give a final statement and, aside from being offered coffee which Mulder had all but devoured, the police were outright disrespectful. Not that Mulder wasn't acting similarly to them, after he'd downed the drink he'd talked separately with the officers before storming out of the office, telling her they "were leaving, _now."_

She didn't know what they'd said to him that'd offended him to this point, but she knew something was off.

Now she was at the shitty restaurant attached to their motel, sitting across from Mulder who seemed to be in one of his moods. As soon as they'd gotten there he'd stormed ahead of her, not bothering to hold the door open or even see if she was following him. It wouldn't be strange if it weren't for his usual tendencies to be a gentleman, but now it just seemed passive aggressive. All in all, a shitty day.

He'd been quiet since they left and when she asked him anything he'd just give her short answers. For some reason it felt like he couldn't even look at her. She could only take so much before she called him out. "Mulder, have _I_ done something to piss you off?"

He stopped playing with his glass of water and looked at her timidly before looking away, pretending to find interest in the food that remained practically untouched in front of him. "No," he muttered.

"Are you sure?" she asked, impatience coming through despite herself.

"Yeah," he nodded.

She let out an irritated sigh and slouched into her seat. Her movement resulted in her leg grazing Mulder's and it caused him to jump away from her like she'd burned him. "Are you kidding me?" she snapped.

"I'm-"

"Mulder, I've had to deal with people treating me like shit this entire case. I _really _don't need it from you too," she lamented.

Finally he looked at her and she started to feel a little guilty for lashing out. In this moment, looking at him face to face, she realized he looked ill. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were glassy, and she could see sweat gathering on his brow. "Scully, I'm sorry. I'm not mad. I don't mean to be short, I just- I don't feel good."

"No, I shouldn't have snapped. I didn't realize you were sick," she apologized.

"I think just the stress of the case finally caught up to me," he shrugged.

She slid out of her side of the booth and moved to sit next to him. "I-I'm sure I'm fine though, Scully," he stammered, sliding away from her.

"Mulder, you don't look fine," she admonished, reaching for his face. She put the back of her hands on his cheeks and forehead and frowned when she felt how hot he was. "You're burning up."

He swerved his head, effectively moving out of her hands, and hunched over. "It's probably just a passing bug, Scully. I promise I'm fine," he rambled.

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. This wasn't like Mulder to be so unreceptive to her medical attention. She gave him another once over and realized how abnormal his posture was. "Mulder, why are you sitting like that?"

"_Scully," _he stated firmly. "I'm _fine."_

"If you're fine then sit up," she countered.

"I don't want to," he whined with near exasperation.

He looked like he was grabbing his sides while curling in on himself.

"Do you have pain in your abdomen?" she asked. _Appendicitis? Stomach flu? Hernia? IBS?_

"No," he muttered childishly, avoiding eye contact.

"How long have you been feeling ill?"

"Please, drop it," he pled.

Suddenly, testing him, she reached out and grabbed the arm nearest to her, pulling it away from his body. He let out a hissing sound between clenched teeth, his whole body lurching before he moved away from her. "Mulder, you're obviously in pain. Stop trying to hide it."

"Scully, please leave me alone," he begged. "And please stop touching me so much."

The intensity of his request hurt her feelings, but she tried her best to keep it from showing. Part of her thought about giving up and meeting him with equal stubbornness, but it'd felt like they'd been getting closer as of late and the harsh rejection stung more than she wished it had. "Why won't you let me help you?" she asked softly.

He must've heard the hurt despite her efforts and he turned to look at her. When he did this, she noticed his eyes were unnaturally dilated and her concern grew even more. "I don't want to talk about it," he pressed.

She might've given up, but this case had been taxing on them both and she knew he had a tendency to forgo taking care of himself in the midst of a stressful investigation. "Mulder," she rolled her eyes, grabbing at him again. "Please just let me give you a quick examination to see if anything's alarming." She put her hand on his thigh and he gasped '_fuck_' before grabbing her wrist harshly, causing her to let out a little gasp of surprise.

He winced and was silent a moment before whispering, "It's embarrassing."

"What is?" she asked.

With some strain, he sat up straight and let go of her wrist, taking the other off his lap to reveal an impressive erection straining against his dress pants, tenting the material away from his lap. He gestured to it in aggravation as if it needed any sort of introduction.

She looked at it, he looked at it, he looked at her, she kept looking at it.

"Oh," she squeaked, removing her hand from his thigh but not leaving that side of the booth.

"I-" he mumbled, covering up again as she struggled to tear her gaze away.

She interrupted him with a raised hand. "It's fine, Mulder. I know it happens. It doesn't bother me. I'm sorry I embarrassed you-you shouldn't be embarrassed," she rushed, her sentences choppy in her own mortification at bringing attention to it.

She wasn't lying - she knew it happened quite frequently, just never to this extent. Usually he adjusted it, calmed down, or left the room by the time the slight hardening in his pants turned into anything that he'd think she noticed. She figured Mulder thought he was being discreet, or maybe he assumed she never glanced at that area of his body, but she noticed enough to know that Mulder was a very healthy man.

It sometimes became a game to her: determining what the cause of any given erection was. Sometimes she thought it happened when the wind blew too hard, it seemed to happen so easily. But slowly, this time, she realized she seemingly had a role in it. All too often it seemed he needed to readjust or take a deep breath or leave immediately following something she'd done. Like a cause and effect but the causes were things she thought were mundane, like standing near him, smiling, laughing, touching, sometimes just looking at him.

She'd just never called him out on it.

"No, Sc-wait. What do you mean you know it happens?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"I just-it's a natural bodily occurrence," she explained, subverting her true meaning.

They locked eyes for a moment, both fully aware she wasn't convincing enough, but luckily he chose to move on. "They, um, they slipped me something," he mumbled.

He shifted in his seat and her gaze flitted down to the area in question, a glance that didn't go unnoticed by Mulder who started unconsciously bending forward again to hide himself. Feeling a surge of embarrassment for her unabashed ogling, she cleared her throat and registered his words. "Wait, who slipped you what?"

"Sheriff Flannery and his merry band of misfits, they said they gave me viagra," he murmured the last part so softly that she'd barely heard him.

For a moment she was sure she'd heard him wrong, but he was wearing his earnestness on his face and she knew he was telling the truth."Why on earth would they do that? Not to mention the fact that's extremely illegal," she balked.

He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "They said it was so I could 'man up'," he admitted. She was about to make a comment about how ridiculous that was, but he spoke up before she could. "Apparently they had some viagra in the back from some guy who retired, yadda yadda yadda, but they slipped it into my coffee while we were in the hallway talking."

As he said this, she unconsciously licked her lips and his gaze flickered to the motion immediately before his eyes shot back to the opposite side of the booth while his nostrils flared and he shifted his hips. It was a motion she found undeniably attractive.

"How much did they give you?" she asked, her attention snapping back to the matter at hand.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"How long have you been erect?" she asked, cringing and looking around when she realized her volume.

Mulder did a look around as well and sighed in relief when no one was eavesdropping on them. "Um, I don't know, maybe two hours."

"Have you tried…" she made an odd gesture with her lap with her hands as he stared at her with raised eyebrows.

"Did it look like I tried the past two hours we've been together?" he asked sarcastically before immediately apologizing. "I'm sorry, this is just the icing on a shit day."

"It worries me that we don't know the dosage," she confided, stopping altogether when the waitress came by to take their plates and drop off the check. Neither of them missed the skeptical once over she gave them for being huddled together on the same side of the booth like teenagers.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Scully resumed, "I'm worried they gave you too much."

"I'm sure it'll go away when we get back to the motel room." Catching himself, he clarified, "When I get back to my motel room. I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Unless it doesn't go away in the next two hours," she added, getting out her wallet and laying cash down on the table for the bill and the tip.

"W-what do you mean?" he croaked.

She looked at him with a skeptical brow as if to say 'you don't know' to which his visible gulp replied 'oh god what?'

"Do you know why Viagra commercials warn against erections lasting longer than four hours?" she asked, stuffing her wallet back into her purse.

"Lightheadedness…" he answered with timidity that told her he knew his answer would be wrong.

"No, do you know what priapism is?" she asked.

"No," he admitted.

"There are different types, and I won't go into full detail, but in bad cases the blood trapped in the penis is deprived of oxygen. Erections that last too long can cause the oxygen-poor blood to begin to damage or destroy tissues in the penis," she explained.

"Destroy?" he repeated.

"Some untreated priapisms can cause erectile dysfunction."

She might as well have told him he had two hours to live with the look of panic that came across his face. "W-what do I need to do?" he stammered.

"Let's go back to your room so we can assess the situation," she stated, trying to sound calm.

She slid out of the booth, but as she was about to walk away, she felt a hand grab her wrist. "Wait," he whispered.

She turned and saw him scooting closer to the edge of, but not coming out of, the seat. He glanced around before looking at her nervously. "There are people here," he told her in a low voice.

She looked around and saw the once empty restaurant was bustling with customers. "But we have to go, Mulder," she whispered back, not wanting to cause him further embarrassment but not seeing a wormhole for him to crawl into opening up anytime soon.

"Can you walk right in front of me to hide it?" he asked. Mulder usually didn't care what people thought of him, but he did care when across the room was a children's birthday party.

With a sigh of resignation, she nodded and turned around in place as he stood up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders to keep her in front of him. There was space between them, but barely. They were both walking as briskly as they could, but she could feel the warmth of him radiating on her back.

Then, unexpectedly, a waitress passed in front of Scully's path with a quick "Sorry, coming through," and the motion caused Scully to stop in her tracks. Which, of course, resulted in Mulder crashing into her and jabbing his hard on straight into her back. She gasped and he squeezed her shoulders tightly and let out a soft, strangled moan, causing a few patrons to abandon their food to glance up at the pair.

"I'm sorry," Scully whispered breathlessly. Whether to the interrupted customers having to witness their misfortune, or to Mulder for stopping so suddenly, she wasn't sure. All she knew as she continued moving forward was that Mulder's cock had just touched her. It wasn't skin against skin, wasn't intimate in any real sense, but her partner's penis had touched her and it was hot, hard, and he _moaned. _

_And fuck if it didn't turn her on._

As soon as they were out of the eyeline of the prying customers and halfway across the gravel parking lot to their rooms, she took a quick step forward, consequently freeing herself from his hands.

"I'm sorry," Mulder lamented immediately. Truth be told, she didn't need to be so dramatic with her movement, but she'd rather have him think she was frustrated with him than realize she was getting flustered. But she regretted her action at the absolute guilt that was evident in his tone.

She turned to look over at him and took pity on the sight of a dejected Mulder crossing his hands in front of his pants. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pull away so abruptly. Let's just get to your room."

She stood by his side and didn't say anything more as Mulder unlocked the door and let her in. They'd only been there a few days, but Mulder had sprawled all his stuff about and made himself at home. She heard the lock snick behind her, and putting on an air of complete professionalism, she turned around and faced him. "Okay, let's take a look."

He still hadn't moved more than a foot from the door, the only signs of life were the widening of his eyes and his stammering. "I-I don't, I can't-".

Well, if he was going to be like that. "One of the methods of curing a priapism is to make an incision-"

"Scull-ee," he whined, his brows furrowing in distress.

"Mulder, I saw more penises in med school than the actresses in all your tapes combined," she deadpanned.

"But this is different," he explained, not elaborating beyond that.

He was right. It was different. She'd seen it before, but it was usually a brief glimpse in the midst of dressing him because of another injury, never was it the main focus of an examination. That, plus the issue that it would be erect and she'd most likely have to come in contact with it for a full examination.

Letting out a long sigh and cursing the fact that nothing in their lives could be easy, she ran her hands over her face and offered, "You're right. You're right. Um, how about you go into the bathroom and take a look. Let me know if anything looks abnormal."

He seemed relieved at that prospect and did as directed, making his way to the bathroom and quickly shutting the door as if to get out of her line of sight. She listened from the other side of the door as the teeth of his zipper came apart and his pants dropped down to the floor. He coughed nervously and called out, "Okay, uh, it's-it's out," he stammered.

There were a few moments in her life, specifically since her time with him, where she couldn't help but be shocked at where she'd ended up. This was one of those moments.

"How does it look?" she asked.

"Um," he paused. "Normal?"

"Does it look different than when you're usually erect?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"What do you mean?" he called out.

"Is it swollen or red?" she explained, images from med school textbooks dancing around in her head.

There was a pause and she realized he was misinterpreting her. With a sigh, she added, "More so than normal?"

"N-no, I think it looks normal, but I've never had one for this long and it kinda aches," he explained. She frowned, she didn't know what to do when half of that information was comforting and the other half was cause for concern.

"This isn't working," she called out. In what world could a doctor assess a patient with a blindfold on? Rarely were patient assessments ever accurate in the first place, let alone when they were in distress.

"Do you have to?" he sighed in acquiescence.

"Mulder, just let me look. I just want to help," she reassured, trying to take a gentler approach.

She heard some more sounds of fabric rustling and realised he was stepping out of his pants and shoes. Soon enough, she heard the door unlock and saw a tuft of brown hair and hazel eyes peer from the side of the door. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours," he joked lamely, trying to lighten the mood and his own discomfort.

She rolled her eyes and gave him a small smirk. "If I ever need an emergency medical exam, I'll make sure you're the first person I call."

"Is that a promise?" he asked, taking a step out and revealing he'd also removed his dress shirt, leaving him in his t-shirt shirt and boxers as he continued to cover himself with a hand towel.

She took a few steps towards him to meet him halfway and the room became tense again, neither of them speaking for a moment as the awkwardness overtook them. "I promise to be clinically detached," she blurted out. "I know this is uncomfortable, but as soon as it's taken care of, I promise we can pretend this never happened."

He let out a long, reluctant sigh and nodded, "Okay. Thank you."

"Sit on the bed," she commanded.

He teased her about her bedside manner, but they walked back into the bedroom and he did as she asked anyway. He only started making a fuss again when she began to get closer.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he asked, scooting away from her as she started easing herself down on her knees in front of him.

"I'm looking, Mulder…" she trailed off. _Surely he didn't think she was going to…_

"I-but-can you," he stammered never fully forming a single one of the thousand thoughts swirling behind his eyes right now.

"Mulder, are you genuinely confused or just stammering? I don't mean to be blunt, but in this situation, the difference matters," she sighed, righting herself to look at him. _Faltering memory. Confusion. Slurred or stammered speech._

"Scully, this is embarrassing," he whined, so pathetically that her heart went out to him.

But time was of the essence, and they were running out of it. "Fine," she stated sternly, pretending to grab her bag. "We'll just have to go to the hospital then."

"No!" he called out, and if she identified the sound correctly, he even stamped a foot.

She turned around to face him again and demanded. "You're going to have to be honest with me or we will be going, okay?"

He was giving her puppy dog eyes right now and she had to bite back a smile at the juxtaposition. He looked like a kicked dog, yet was sporting a massive erection. Mulder pulled her out of her thought process by his mumbling something, but doing it under his breath so that she couldn't hear. "What was that?"

"I don't want to accidentally come in front of you… or on you," he muttered.

_This is my life. My partner just said those words out loud to me. _She was at such a loss for words that he took it as her not understanding. "I just-I'm afraid seeing you, um, like that-" _On your knees._

She held up her hand to stop him from saying anymore. "Lay back and close your eyes or look at the ceiling." He nodded and lowered himself slowly onto his back, letting out a tense sigh. She wished she had those hanging mobiles like they do at the OBGYN, but he instead just raised his forearms to cover his eyes and she took that as a sign she was good to go.

Without his prying eyes on her, she mouthed a silent _fuck _to herself as she lowered herself on her knees and in between his legs, giving her a better vantage point to see. The hand towel didn't do much to cover, but it was enough for her to be nervous about removing it entirely. _No going back now_.

She cleared her throat and decided to be as Dr. Scully as she possibly could. "I'm going to remove the towel."

There were no words of affirmation or recognition, but she knew he heard. He was probably just trying to mentally dig a hole to crawl into. With her index finger and thumb, she grabbed the corner of the towel and lifted it off, setting it down gently at his side. Her thoughts were as follows:

_Mulder is hung._

_How does he walk around with this?_

_It's amazing how humble he is for how cocky he easily could be._

_My face is a few inches from Mulder's leaking cock._

"Does it look like a pr-prasi-"

"A priapism," she clarified. She looked at the pink swollen phallus and didn't immediately see any of the usual red flags. "No visual indicators." Dr. Scully left for a moment as Flustered Dana mentally screamed, but she stifled her hesitation and confidently said, "Is it alright if I touch it for a physical exam?"

He was silent and, unlike last time, she couldn't continue without his permission. She sat there, his penis hard as a rock in front of her face, as he contemplated his fate. Then, she heard a softly muttered, "Okay."

Being as delicate as she could, she scooted closer, her forearm grazing the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. He jumped like she'd shocked him and she breathed out an apology and continued to lift her hands, gently grabbing the shaft with the tips of her fingers.

She ducked her head slightly to look at the scrotum and noticed nothing looked out of the ordinary. _Just perfectly dropped, engorged, healthy balls. _She righted herself and tested the skin's give by tugging down lightly with her fingers on his shaft, dragging the skin down and revealing more of his head, and she was relieved to see there was some movement. _So he's not swollen to the point of danger._

As she conducted her test he took a sharp, shaky inhalation between clenched teeth. Risking a glance over to him, she saw his arms still firmly planted against his face, his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. "Um-" she spoke, not even sure what she was about to say, just wanting to break the silence. "Does being touched hurt?" she asked, settling on a perfectly analytical question.

She saw him swallow thickly before answering in a husky voice that shot straight to her core, "No."

He didn't offer any more information and she figured he was trying to spare his pride. Using her fingers as delicately as she could, she moved it around from side to side just to check mobility, but her motion apparently wasn't as delicate as she'd intended. He lurched away from her, his erection going out of her grasp and bobbing violently in the air at his harsh jerk. "Okay, that was a little rough, Scully."

"Sorry," she exhaled before taking the cloth and covering him. At the unexpected sensation, he concaved his hips into the bed and released his arms to look down at her before immediately subverting his eyes.

Using his knees as leverage, she stood up and cleared her throat, taking in the sight of Mulder actually _blushing_ and wishing it wasn't such an uncomfortable situation.

His attention was drawn by her near-declarative cough and he glanced back at her as he eased himself up on his elbows. Now it was her turn to look away. There was something incredibly sexy about a casually reclined Mulder with an erection while she apparently possessed the ability to arouse him.

"It doesn't look dangerous right now, but that doesn't mean you're out of the woods yet. I want you to, um, _take care of it _and then tell me if the swelling starts to go down," she explained.

"What happens if I can't?" he asked nervously.

"I thought you were well versed in that arena," she teased before seeing the look of panic in his eyes. "Mulder, I'm sure this will all blow over. People snort cocaine and have had two hour long erections like this and they live. Let's focus on the positive. If you can't, we can always go to the hospital," she comforted. Correction- she _tried_ to comfort. She said the H word again and she could see the worry brewing in his eyes.

"Don't think about it, just think about - whatever it is you normally think about," she stammered, moving towards the adjoining door. "I'll be next door if you need me." Then, at his raised brows, she added, "If you have a medical question or um, you know." Putting herself out of her misery, she walked into her room and shut the door.


	2. Bedside Manner

She'd been doing good, in fact too good, at shutting her mind off to ignore any sounds coming from the other room. She tried to read her case files, get some work done, she even meditated. Aside from a few gasps, she was pretty confident she was doing a good job. Which is why the knocking startled her so badly.

Scully glanced at her watch, amazed by Mulder's stamina, when she realized the lifetime that had passed had only been six minutes. Walking to the door, instead of relief, she was met with the biggest kicked puppy dog look she'd ever seen from him - pouty lip, glossy eyes, and all.

"Scully, I can't focus because I'm anxious and I'm scared and I can't get out of my head, but I don't want to go to the doctor," he rambled in a single breath.

Sighing, she opened the door for him to come in and he waddled in holding the towel to his still prominent bulge.

"What if you tried watching TV, just charge the Pay-Per-View to your card?" she asked.

"No TV," he replied, his intonation implying he'd considered that option as well.

She was already mid-scoff when she looked around the room and realized that he was right. _Of course they'd be in the one motel in America without a television. _

"What do I do?" he asked in one of the most desperate tones she'd ever heard. _She couldn't blame him, if the situation were reversed, she'd be in a panic by now._

"First, I want you to take a deep breath. You need to calm down," she commanded, taking a deep breath to lead by example and repeating the motion to get him to mimic her.

"I would have tasted it if it were too high of a dose right?" he asked.

"Not necessarily," she replied honestly. His brows furrowed and he took a step back, pacing lightly out of stress.

"I'm sorry, I know this is awkward and please don't think less of me. I just really don't want to lose my dick," he confessed, looking at her apologetically.

"Mulder, you're not going to lose your dick," she replied. "How does it look now? Did being jostled aggravate it?"

"Is that what you call it, Scully? Being jostled?" he teased before looking down, taking the towel away from himself just a millimeter to try and peek.

"Mulder, there's no need to be shy right now," she reminded him.

He looked at her with chagrin before acknowledging that. Wordlessly, he pulled the towel away and the motion caused his penis to bob once against his stomach before resuming its normal stance at attention.

She took a step closer and grabbed it lightly, moving it gently to look at it fully. "Fuck, Scully," he gasped in surprise and something that sounded much more relief than displeasure.

"Sorry," she mumbled as she bit back a gasp. When she'd brushed it with her palm she undoubtedly felt him twitch in her hand. "It still looks normal," she assessed before taking a step back.

As she did this, she noticed the way his eyes had been locked on her face hungrily, something she'd been too distracted to notice before. His eyes were dilated and his jaw was clenched, a sight that might appear like anger to others - but looked like unadulterated lust to her.

Scully swallowed and, aside from his gaze flickering to the hollow of her throat, he came back to himself and looked away, covering himself once more. "Why don't you call one of your 1-900 numbers?" she asked.

"First of all, you shouldn't know about those. Second of all, I cancelled my accounts a few months back," he replied.

"Why?"

He shrugged non-committedly and murmured "I didn't feel like I needed them anymore." If she was gauging correctly, he looked shy at this admittance. She knew for a fact he wasn't with anyone, so the timing just felt oddly coincidental to when they started hanging out after work more often. Part of her wanted to think it was directly related to their increased time together, but the rational side told her it was more likely that he just didn't have as much time for it.

"You know, some say when the prostate is stimulated just right that orgasm is almost involuntary-"

"No judgement, but I don't think the first time I want something in my ass is under these circumstances," he deadpanned.

She wiped her face as if to rid herself of her stress and contemplated the situation. _Really_ contemplated the situation. They'd been teetering on this line between being platonic and more for a while now. That back massage she'd given him a few weeks ago involved _way_ more touching than necessary, him kissing her cheek was a given after a night hanging out and cheek had slowly been wandering into side of the mouth territory, and she'd dare to go so far as to say they'd even been cuddling without calling it cuddling during movie nights.

All in all, their platonic relationship was a camel with two thousand straws on its back. _This would be the one to break it._

She let out another long breath before looking him in the eye. "Mulder?"

He met her gaze and furrowed his brow, alarmed at her severity. "What?"

"I want you to know I'm only saying this because I trust you and if we want this can eternally remain a secret," she started. He didn't say anything, just looked at her with prying eyes, trying to decipher her meaning. Keeping her hands firmly planted at her sides, lest she give way to her nerves, she stated, "If you think there's anything I could do to help, I'm willing."

His mouth dropped open and his eyes widened, scanning her to make sure he was understanding her correctly. "Scully, I could never ask-"

"You aren't asking, I'm offering," she clarified.

He continued to stand there stunned, still holding the cloth against himself, and she started to feel self-conscious. "You even mentioned earlier in your room that you were afraid you'd come in front of me. And earlier before at the restaurant you seemed to get flustered when I touched yo-"

"Yeah, Scully. I'm obviously attracted to you, but I don't want you to do anything like that out of pity," he explained. He paused for a minute before adding, "And I don't want you to think I came in here under the assumption you'd help."

She sighed and wished anything could be easy or simple. "I'd never think that, Mulder. And I'm not doing it out of pity. Again, I wouldn't offer if I wasn't comfortable with the idea. You know me better than that."

Her final words seemed to really strike something in him and a look of understanding started to cross his face. "But I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you and your condition either. Just because I find you attractive doesn't mean I would ever expolit-"

"Really?" he asked, astonished, his sincerity almost laughable with the straining erection pressing the thin fabric held in front of him.

"W-what?" she asked, feeling like the room was a hundred degrees hotter than it had been earlier.

"You're attracted to me?"

She rolled her eyes at how juvenile this all was. "Mulder, I think we both know we're attracted to each other," she declared honestly, unable to meet his eyes.

He was silent for a moment before chuckling lightly. "I never thought it would come out this way," he stated quietly, almost to himself.

"Part of me isn't surprised," she admitted with a small smile. Conventionalities had yet to find a place in their partnership.

"I know this," he gestured to his erection, "-says differently, but I'm nervous. I feel like a teenager again," he laughed.

She offered him a reassuring smile to let him know the feeling was mutual. "It's just me," she whispered shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Exactly," he murmured.

She took in a deep breath, feeling her heart continue to beat rapidly in her chest. The words were out there now, but that was only the beginning. "Do you think I could help you?" she asked, posing the question to him with a lilt.

It wasn't meant to be seductive, but her question caused him to lick his lips and his eyes to roam to her chest before they shot respectfully to the wall art. "Can I be honest?" he asked.

"I'd be offended if you weren't," she replied.

He chuckled as he raised a hand up to rub the back of his neck. "I'd always thought we'd take things slow."

"We still can," she told him in earnest, playing with the nail of her middle finger.

He cocked an eyebrow at her and stated uncertainty, "How?"

"Well…" she thought and looked around as if inspiration for how to get your partner off would manifest in the wallpaper. She was rewarded by an idea coming from a glance at the motel phone. "You talked to those women to get off before."

"Yeah…?" he questioned, uncertain of her intent with that statement.

"What if...you talked to me?" she asked coquettishly.

It was a minute gesture, but she saw him squeeze himself through the hand towel. "So, we talk while I…?" He made a gesture to his crotch and she nodded. "It feels vulgar to jack off in front of you."

Deciding honesty might help the situation, she admitted, "I wouldn't be appalled if that's what you think." He cocked an eyebrow in surprise and she did the same in response. "But, what if for now, you sat on the bed and I sat in the chair by the adjoining door facing away from you?"

He nodded in understanding before meeting her eyes. "Are you sure?"

She nodded before walking over, grabbing the chair and dragging it to face the corner of the room, realistically only ending up three feet at most away from Mulder, but it gave the illusion of privacy.

She sat down as she heard him get comfortable on the bed. They stilled for a moment in their positions, as if both really realizing what was going to happen. The only sounds in the room left were their pounding hearts and their shallow breaths. "I've never done this before," she laughed nervously, breaking the silence.

"We don't hav-"

"I want to," she interrupted. "I promise." She did too, despite her nerves, the thought of getting him off was one she'd entertained on countless lonely nights and the idea of finally fulfilling the fantasy was turning her on.

Deciding to begin, she asked. "So, what do you and the call girls usually talk about?"

"Um, sexual fantasies normally. Just like, verbally acting them out," he admitted with hesitancy.

"Your fantasies specifically or one either of you just makes up?"

"Mine. I'd tell her what I liked and she'd improv from there," he explained.

Curiosity was burning in her as to if he was already touching himself. Was he waiting? _Was he looking at her? _"Tell me one."

"You promise you won't get mad?" he asked.

She wanted to send him a curious look at his choice of wording, but didn't want to break his trust by looking. "Yes."

"Um, usually, I'd ask her to pretend to be my coworker," he mumbled.

"_Oh_," she breathed. She'd never imagined his sexual habits as a conduit for relief of their own sexual tension, but the newfound knowledge stirred something deep inside. "What else would you tell her?"

"I'd describe you," he admitted, the sound of his voice resonating slightly differently and she realized he was, indeed, facing her. "Your hair, your face, your body type."

"Give me an example. What would you say to her," she requested. She just wanted to hear him say it.

"She has short, auburn hair - enough to grab but not enough to get in the way; she's beautiful, stunningly so, with intense blue eyes, plump red lips, and an aquiline nose; she's very short-"

She let out a little huff of laughter and he paused to chuckle alongside her. "As I was saying, she's _very_ short, with a very lithe build - athletic but graceful."

She was stunned at the delicacy and precision of his words, clearly all of the sentiments expressed were ones he was confident in and it gave her a boost of confidence. "What am I wearing?" _Present tense. First person point of view. _ He recognized that change as well and the tension in the room started to become more comfortable as they got into it.

"Your usual business clothes, much like the ones you're wearing now." She was about to ask another question when he added, "But underneath you're wearing a matching black lace bra and panty set, and when I'm taking it off you tell me you wore it for me."

A chill went down her spine as she remembered what she'd put on this morning. _Had he seen somehow? _The coincidence had her spooked, but thrilled at the same time.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"The office," he answered quickly, obviously already picturing it vividly in his mind. She wasn't sure if he was making the next part up just to hear what she'd say or if this was really how it went. "That's usually all I say before she takes over."

There was a gruffness to his voice that told her he was undoubtedly touching himself, the gentle sounds of the bed moving underneath his shifting hips signifying the same. She closed her eyes and imagined herself in the basement, in the very same office they'd been in only a few days ago, where seven years of flirty comments, longing gazes, and sexual tension permeated the space.

"Okay, but let me know if I'm not doing it right," she nodded, adjusting herself in her seat while trying to ignore the dull ache in her groin.

"I highly doubt that's possible," he murmured.

"But I just need to know one thing before starting," she stipulated.

She heard the movements stop as he answered, "Of course, what is it?"

"In your fantasies, am I the instigator, or is it you?" she asked softly, biting her lips as she waited for an answer. He was silent for a moment and she could hear his mind whirring with the possibilities that came from both ideas.

"You."

She'd imagined both so many times that she would have been ready for either. The implication of his choice was obvious; her speaking as the instigator made it more for her rather than making it sound like she was just pandering to his desires. She hoped he knew that wasn't what this was.

"Good choice," she complimented before clearing her throat.

She'd truly never done anything like this before in her life. The only thing comparable was her journal that had seen glimpses of a really good fantasy or a recalled dream. That's how she'd have to do this - just act like she was reading from her private diary.

"It's Tuesday morning and you've been in a mood all morning," she began. He chuckled and she immediately felt her cheeks redden. "I told you I hadn't done this before."

He stifled his laughter quickly to reassure, "No, no. I'm sorry. I just found it funny that even in a fantasy I'm brooding and morose."

Comforted that it wasn't _her_ he was laughing at she smiled and defended herself, "May I continue, _Mulhder." _She drew out his name in a more sensuous tone than she'd ever used in his presence before and she heard him agree readily.

"It's Tuesday morning and I can tell something's off. I've been looking across the desk at you since you came in and I can't put my finger on what's wrong and every time I ask, you just say you're fine."

As she mentally planned out her fantasy she blushed at the fact she was revealing quite a bit about her secret wants. _Too late now._ "It takes a few hours of prompting before you make a snide comment about me going out with another man."

There was an abrupt halt then too, and he spoke up again, "Scully, don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't-"

She could hear him getting upset at the idea of her fantasy including another man and she smiled at the meta nature of it all, "Let me finish."

The sounds started up softly again and she took it as a sign to continue. "When you mention it, I feel indignant. I'd spent the night touching myself to the thought of you and I woke up this morning double checking myself in the mirror and hoping you'd like what you'd see, and the fact you would think I could look at another man pisses me off." The absolute honestly of the words leaving her mouth burned, her mouth felt like a loaded gun and her face felt like it was on fire. But the honesty was erotic.

Mulder thought so too. At these new words she heard a clear as day moan escape his lips, though it sounded like he tried to silence it. "I ask you what you're talking about and it becomes clear someone said something stupid to you to get you riled up and it worked. I'm pissed you'd believe it so readily, but when I look at you I can see you'd rolled your sleeves up, your jaw is set, and you look absolutely _jealous._ Possessive even, and it turns me on instantly. I try to meet your eye with a leveled glance and try to ignore the fact that I can feel myself getting wet."

He inhaled quickly and his breath comes out trembling. "I want to play with you a little bit, see how much you're willing to admit you're jealous, but I don't think you will. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me now that you're thinking of some nameless agent and imagining his hands on me. You're thinking of him touching me, fucking me, making me come, and it pisses you off because you know it should be you. You know that no one could pleasure me better than you could." Now it was her turn to take a deep, shuddering breath. She was staring at the corner of the wall intently, the depressed line where two surfaces meet, as she spoke. The comfort of not having to face him, yet hearing the effect her words had on him was painfully sexy.

"I ask what you mean and you confirm my suspicions. You overheard some guy make a comment about taking me out and you misconstrued it. But you're not covering your feelings up at all. You don't say it's none of your business, you don't say I can do whoever I want, you don't say you don't care, because you know that would all be a lie."

She'd unabashedly squeezed her legs together to relieve some friction, but it wasn't enough. She could hear the now rhythmic shifting of the bed, and with the hope he was too distracted to notice, without moving her arm too much she slid her hand in between her legs and up her skirt. Her knuckles brushed against her damp panties and she sucked in a breath and hoped Mulder didn't hear it. She quickly tries to mask it as her starting another sentence and resumed her narration. "Even though I'm a little upset with you, I can't stop focusing on how sexy you look. I stand up abruptly and I can tell you think I'm going to leave and you sit up in your seat. For a moment I think you're going to try and stop me and the idea sends another wave of arousal rushing through me. But you stay in your seat and watch me like a hawk as I walk around the desk so that I'm right beside you, leaning back against the wood."

She fingers the elastic on the side of her underwear before pulling it to the side and letting her index and ring finger press onto her swollen clit. Her body jolts once and her head rolls to the side. There's a slickness to the sound of Mulder's masturbation now and she knows it's working. _For both of them. _"When I ask you if you seriously think I'm going out with someone else and you're shocked. Before you'd been empathizing with the man, understanding what it's like to want me and you were just jealous he acted on it. Now I'm making you empathize with me and you know me better than to think I'd be fraternizing with some other guy after how close we'd been getting recently."

"Scully?" he prompted, his voice strained.

"Hmm?" she replied, not trusting her own.

"Are you touching yourself?"

She froze, her fingers just starting to press into herself as she realized she'd been caught. She was about to apologize before he requested. "Can I see you?"

His words weighed heavy in the room as she contemplated them, both of them eager to see what her next action would be. She took her fingers away, slightly surprised at the amount of wetness coating them as her underwear snapped back into place. She stood up and adjusted the chair so it was facing Mulder, and slightly closer to the bed too. She didn't risk a look at him in fear of chickening out before she sat down. But as she slid into the chair she had to suppress a moan.

He wasn't lying on the bed. He was sitting on the edge, his feet planted on the floor as he faced her.

_He'd been watching her the entire time._

His cock was wet, thick, and swollen in his hand, which hadn't stopped its rhythmic pumping. Encouraged by his brazenness, she slipped out of her blazer, leaving herself in her thin blouse, letting it fall to the ground next to her, and rose up slightly just to hitch her skirt over her hips. Then she reclined again, spread her legs, and resumed her prior actions.

She saw Mulder mouth the word '_fuck' _as his hand sped up, and she had no doubt the look in her eye was anything other than lascivious. "W-where was I?" she asked.

"You were mentioning how close we've been getting lately," he informed.

They locked eyes and smiled at the irony of that statement contrasted with their current situation. "Right. You start apologizing and I can tell you're relieved, but you also feel bad for jumping to conclusions." She swirls around her clit proficiently enough to make her gasp and jerk slightly against the chair and she saw Mulder's eyes hungrily devour the motion.

"Then what do you say?" he asked, adding a second hand below himself to cup his balls, fondling them with precision.

"I lean down close to you tell you I could never be with anyone else because all I think about is you and how much I want you, _fuck," _she gasped as she started feeling the beggining twinges of an orgasm. She was reaching the point of inevitability and she couldn't help but grind her hips against her hand.

Scully let her head fall back as she stared at the ceiling, not saying anything as she began swirling her clit more fervently, chasing her climax. "Yeah, that's it, Scully," he praised, his voice husky and gruff.

Feeling guilty she was on the brink when this was intended to help Mulder, she forced her head back down to look at him, though her hand's actions didn't slow. Her voice was uneven and strained as she tried to talk through her arousal. "Hearing me say that was all you needed and you jump up from your seat and grab me, kissing me like your life depended on it. I'm overwhelmed with feeling your arms around me, the way your tongue feels against mine, and how your hands feel on my body."

She'd spent the past ten minutes working them up, and with one more sentence, he made her come undone.

"God, I want you."

Her jaw dropped open as waves of pleasure radiated through her entire body. She screamed his name as her fingers mercilessly worked her clit to draw out her orgasm. Her legs went from being rigid, to squeezing her hand between her thighs, to quivering in quick five second intervals.

When the orgasm subsided, he was pumping furiously and looked absolutely drunk with pleasure. Even though she'd just come, every cell in her body was on fire and craving more.

The pretense they were hiding behind, the divulgence of a mutual fantasy, was undeniably sexy, but in this moment it didn't feel like enough. She'd spent _years_ fantasizing about them over and over again, it would never get old, but she fantasized because she felt they were things that could only happen in a dream.

She didn't want to fantasize when the reality dangled its potential right in front of her face.

"Mulder," she whispered, his name tumbling wordlessly from her bitten lips.

"Hm?" he replied, slowing down just ever so slightly.

"I know you wanted to take it slow, but haven't we waited long enough?" she questioned, her chest rising and falling as she tried to stabilize her breath.

"Are you sure?" he replied, halting his motion and searching her eyes for the hesitation he'd never find.

"_In your fantasies, am I the instigator, or is it you?"_

"_You."_

Taking a deep breath, she steeled her resolve and stood up. She locked eyes with him and maintained eye contact as she sauntered over to him and hooked a leg over either side of his hips on the mattress, relieved when his hands came to her thighs to stabilize her before roaming the skin experimentally. The whole time he stared at her with so much reverence she felt like Aphrodite incarnated.

Regardless of her boldness, the last ten minutes included, and despite the fact she could feel their arousals all but straining to touch the other, the absolute intimacy of this situation was not lost on her. _This was really going to happen. _She was nestled on Mulder's lap, so close she could smell his aftershave from this morning and she could feel the warmth of his body head radiating onto her, and she started to feel her heart race with something other than arousal.

She raised her hands up, ignoring the way they were trembling, and cupped his cheeks, taking a moment to stroke her thumb against the skin textured by his five o'clock shadow. Her eyes roamed his face as she let her thumbs dip low enough to stroke his full bottom lip. He surprised her, eliciting a gasp, as he pressed a kiss to the wandering digits.

She looked up to meet his eyes and saw adoration reflected in their depths. "I've wanted this for so long," she whispered, the words ripped from her lips without her giving thought to them.

A humbled smile broke out from beneath her thumbs as she felt one of his hands travel up her back to rest on the nape of her neck, his index finger instinctively tracing the scar he didn't need to see to locate. Her breath hitched at the contact and, in the same breath, she lowered her hands to his shoulders and pressed her mouth against his.

The timidity that may have been present under other circumstances was far removed as a result of the mutual masturbation session that had just taken place and the suffocating desire that was enshrouding them both. As soon as their lips touched their tongues followed suit and he pulled her tightly against him so that they were flush together.

Her hands started at his shoulders, but they quickly migrated south to roam the expanse of his back, enjoying the curves and contours of his muscles under her touch. Widening her legs, she sank down so that his erection nestled itself into the vee of her thighs, rubbing against the soaked fabric of her panties. He groaned against her lips and bucked upwards in a languid scooping motion that made her gasp.

He surprised her by hooking his arms under her legs and standing up, bringing her along with him. She let out a huff of aroused amusement at his eagerness before he turned around and laid her down in the middle of the bed, crawling on top of her as soon as she hit the mattress. He took a moment to rid himself of his shirt and she followed suit, unbuttoning her shirt as quickly as she could with her excitement hindering her precision. He saw what she was doing and started at the bottom hem edge of her shirt, unbuttoning simultaneously in the other direction until their hands met in the middle so she could arch her back and rid herself of the garment. She went one step further and lifted her hips so she could shimmy out of her skirt, tossing it off the bed before repositioning her legs against Mulder on either side.

He placed his hands greedily on her sides and ran them up and down her torso and all over her abdomen like he could commit it to memory by touching her enough. His eyes drank her in and she felt his hips roll against hers, pressing arousal to arousal sensuously. "Black lace," he murmured with an appreciative grin as he used his hands to cup her breasts and tease her nipples through the thin fabric.

"Sometimes when I'm getting dressedI think about what you'd see if if were you undressing me. If you'd like what you saw. I didn't know how right I was until earlier," she admitted, arching her back and scooting so she could press herself more firmly against him and undulate her hips to match his movements.

He paused and a thoughtful look passed his face. "You thought of me when you put this on?" he asked.

She nodded, biting her bottom lip as she watched him. He smiled like this was the best news he'd ever received. He moved one hand to the valley of her breasts and teasingly toyed with the clasp. "As much as I love your taste in lingerie," as he said this he unclipped the middle and it came apart, her breasts shifting out of the confines. Then moving his mouth over where the clasp had been, continued with, "- I want to see all of you."

She helped him remove the bra, tossing it off the bed before his head descended and he latched his mouth directly onto her nipple, sucking, teasing, and nipping before diverting the attention to the other one. Each flick of his tongue sent a ripple of pleasure down her spine, goosebumps erupting over her skin as she clutched the bedsheets. When he switched his attention from breast to breast, he'd pepper little kisses all across her sternum and whisper half complete statements like "_so beautiful_" and "_can't believe_."

Through her haze of arousal she remembered what started this all and figured they shouldn't wait anymore. "M-Mu-lder," she whimpered, squeezing his hips with her thighs to get his attention.

"Hmm?" he hummed with a nipple still in his mouth, the wetness heightening the pleasure the vibrations caused.

"I want you, now," she moaned, grabbing at his shoulders to pull him up.

He grunted enthusiastically and lifted himself off her. She missed the contact, but was quickly rewarded with the sight of him shimmying out of his boxers before crawling back on top of her.

His face was looming over hers as their bodies pressed flush together and it was another moment that broke through the haze of lust. It was as if the moment dawned on them both and they couldn't help but smile. She lifted a hand up and brushed his hair back as she beamed at him, trying not to ruin the heat of the moment by getting teary eyed. They didn't have to communicate to know the gravity of this moment, that everything they'd ever done had been leading up to this moment.

She leaned up and kissed him sweetly on the lips as she reached in between them to find his erection and guide it to her entrance. He hissed at the contact and watched her reaction as she angled her hips to allow his tip to sink in an inch or two.

_Mulder's inside me._

It wasn't even all the way yet, but the simple fact it was happening excited and thrilled her. Mulder eased himself up into a position where he had more control without ever slipping out of her. "You'll let me know if I hurt you, right?"

She raised her legs up and hooked them around his back so that he had easier access, wrapping her arms around his neck at the same time. "I know I won't have to," she whispered, placing a kiss to his lips before pressing her heel into his back in encouragement.

Slowly, he eased in inch by inch, giving her time to adjust to his size. Her body tensed occasionally at the intrusion and the slight pain from being stretched so much, and, just as she predicted, Mulder took her hitched breath or the tensing of her muscles as a sign to pause until she relaxed again. During the brief intermissions, he'd kiss her mouth or play with her nipples, anything to help ease the dull pain.

But when he was completely in and she was able to move her hips a bit in exploration, the dull pain began turning into pleasure. Pleasure that Mulder had undoubtedly been feeling excruciatingly well this whole time if the sweat on his brow and the look of rapture on his face were any indication.

"I'm good," she breathed out huskily. "You can move."

He settled into a better position where he still had control but where their pelvises could have more contact. He began at a slow, languid pace, analyzing her face for any sign of discomfort and using it as a gauge for if he could speed up.

In no time, he was snapping his hips back and forth with his thrusts - the entire bed rocking with the momentum. She'd never felt so full and satisfied in her entire life and for what felt like the first time - sex wasn't partially performative. Not once did she make a sound just to let Mulder know she was having a good time. No - these moans and whimpers continually falling from her mouth felt like they were being ripped from her. Involuntary reactions to an overflow of overwhelming lust and satisfaction all caused by him.

Mulder's face was a mask of complete and utter bliss. Not once did his eyes leave her body; they roamed from her face to the way her breasts bounced on her chest to her glistening arousal as he bucked against her. "You're s-so beau-tiful, Scully," he praised with struggling breath.

"So are you," she replied with a quick exhale, smiling at him. Watching his muscles work under his skin as he moved was extremely erotic.

She felt the stirrings of a second orgasm building, but she knew it would be harder in this position. "Mulder, I wanna be on top," she requested ineloquently.

He smiled at her and let out a full blown chuckle as she squealed at his quick movement. With amazing dexterity, he rolled to the side onto his back while keeping her latched to him with his hands on her hips. In a whirlwind of motion, she was on top of him, knees on either side of his hips, as he laid on his back.

The visual stimulation alone was almost enough to send her over the edge. His engorged and throbbing cock was still buried to the hilt inside of her while he looked up at her in awe. It was empowering and she'd never felt more attractive.

She adjusted her knees into a better position before she began rocking, lifting herself up and down his shaft without letting him fall out. She threw her head back at the sensation and raised her hands to cup her breasts, playing with the weight and tweaking her nipples to heighten her pleasure. She gasped and jerked when she felt his hands rest on her hips, letting one hand dip lower so his thumb could circle her clit as she rode him.

"_Fuck, please," _she gasped, picking up the speed and enjoying the lewd sounds of their sexes joining reverberating off the motel walls.

Intermittently, she'd stop bouncing in favor of sinking down as much as she could and squirming on his lap, enjoying the way she could feel his whole cock inside her and how his tip pressed against her walls so deeply. Whenever she did this, he'd pick up where she left off and buck his hips upwards, making her bounce slightly on his crotch.

One of the times she did this, he started swirling her clit furiously and she knew she was done for. "_Muldermuldermulderpleasedon'tstop_," she rambled as she felt her body climbing the peak of pleasure, excitement building at the prospect of jumping over the edge and falling into the depths of ecstasy.

He could see it in her face and became relentless, swirling her swollen nub mercilessly as her ground her hips against his, keeping her firmly pressed against him by grabbing her hip with his free hand. "That's it, Scully. I want to feel you come," he growled.

Something about the way he said her name, mixed with the overwhelming sensations made her second orgasm roar through her. She all but collapsed on him, desperate for as much contact with him as possible as she shook and gyrated her body to prolong her climax. She could see stars and heard a ringing in her ears from the intensity, and she groaned in pleasure when she felt him start thrusting erratically. There was so much intensity that she felt his hips lifting off the bed before she felt him spill inside her as he cried her name into her hair.

She shakily chuckled as she fell against him, not wanting to break the contact yet, but too spent to have the energy to do anything other than lay on top of him. She rose and fell with his uneven breathing, and her eyes fluttered shut as his hand came up to stroke her back tenderly.

"That was-" he began.

"Better than any fantasyI've ever had," she finished, lifting a hand to rest next to her face on his chest.

"You can say that again," he laughed, kissing the top of her head.

She was so soothed by his warmth and his fingers making lazy patterns on her skin that she never wanted to move. She distantly felt his breath even out and his cock softening inside of her as she felt sleep start to-

_Wait._

She rolled off of him so that she instead lay flush parallel to him, still in his arms, as she took a look down. "Mulder, your erection's gone," she exclaimed in relief.

He craned his head to look and relief that he wouldn't have to go get an operation on his penis shone through his eyes. He turned his neck and placed a kiss to her lips, pulling back only to say, "I have a really good doctor."


End file.
